"Here’s Looking at You!"

Matthew 5:13-16, 48

February 6, 2011 + Fifth Sunday After Epiphany

Pilgrim Congregational United Church of Christ

400 Glenwood Drive

Chattanooga, Tennessee 37404

Let me begin with a question: When you got up this morning did you look at yourself in the mirror? Of course, you did. We all did as we prepared ourselves to be seen by others. We may not be as young or beautiful or handsome as we wish we were. We are who we are. Mirrors, unlike cameras, really don’t lie. Perhaps, that’s why one woman I heard about years ago had her house redecorated and did not include a single mirror. Disliking how you look so much that you never want to look in a mirror? Wow!

On the other hand, there are others, the golden girls and boys, who revel in their appearance and long to be seen by others on red carpets and magazine covers. I am sure they spend a great deal of time looking at themselves in mirrors to be sure their appearance is as perfect as it can be. But let’s not be too hard on them. Let them enjoy their time in the sun. As we all know, outer beauty fades with time but inner beauty is never lost. All true; but what would you think of someone who loved his appearance so much that he couldn’t stop looking at himself?

When I was a boy, one of my favorite books was a collection of Greek mythology. I was fascinated by the way the Greeks used fanciful stories about their gods and human beings to explain why things are the way they are in nature and human life. Long before the time of psychology as we know it, they looked at human life and asked themselves: “Why do people behave as they do?” As they pondered that they realized that anyone who loved his or her appearance too much could have a real problem. Knowing this, some wise person created the myth of a young man named Narcissus.

Narcissus was supposed to have been the handsomest fellow who ever lived . . . and he knew it! He loved the way he looked and never tired of seeing his reflection wherever he could. According to this ancient story, many lovely young women fell in love with Narcissus but he ignored them completely. He loved only himself. Part of the Narcissus myth tells how a young woman named Echo fell in love with him but she could not get his attention no matter how hard she tried. She followed him everywhere repeating everything he said in the hope he would recognize how much he meant to her. It did no good and she pined away until nothing remained but her distant voice: an echo. Now I suppose we could spend the rest of our time together pondering how we can lose ourselves by trying to praise and please and placate others in the hope of winning their love. I hope you know the serious problem in that kind of relationship, but if you are struggling in a relationship now where you feel you are losing yourself, come talk to me.

This morning I want to go in a different direction and ask: how much self-love should we have? By the way, Narcissus found a perfect place to see his reflection in a river and he couldn’t leave the spot. As a matter of fact, he was so in love with his own image he tried to get closer and closer to it and finally fell in the river and was drowned. Seeing this one of the gods turned him into a lovely flower there on the riverbank, the Narcissus, so he could stay forever looking at himself.

Today, there is a contemporary psychological disorder called narcissism to describe people who are so wrapped up in self-love that they have little or no interest in the needs and feelings of other people. That’s the extreme: a self-love so great it destroys the possibility of meaningful relationships with other people. I doubt that anyone here this morning is an extreme narcissist or probably you wouldn’t be here at all. You’d be home adoring yourself. “Who needs people when I’ve got me?!”

But what about the other extreme: not loving ourselves enough? And, by the way, isn’t that the way we are supposed to feel about ourselves as Christians? I was challenged by someone recently who asked me: “Do you Liberals still believe in sin?” Now if by sin my questioner meant that all of us from birth are totally wicked and completely lost I would have to say, no, I don’t believe in that kind of sin, original or otherwise. What I do believe is that none of us is born a perfect person. Sometimes we make good choices in life and sometimes we make bad ones, sometimes really bad ones. But even our best choices are never completely perfect. That’s what it means to be human and that’s what I believe it means to be a sinner. Like an archer we try to hit the bull’s eye in the center of life’s target, but we are not Robin Hood. We seldom if ever hit the bull’s eye in the exact center.

So what can we do about this or, to use the biblical question, “What must we do to be saved?” Somehow we have to navigate life’s challenging channel between loving ourselves too much or too little and even loving other people too much or too little. To do that we need the grace, the loving forgiveness of God and the loving forgiveness of other people.

But how can we know if we’re on the right path in life? In his First Letter to the Corinthians, Paul urged the members of that church to examine themselves before they took communion so that they, as Paul says, can “discern” the body (of Christ) (Cf I Corinthians 11:23 ff.) What on earth does that mean? As J. Paul Sampley points out in his magnificent commentary on First Corinthians (in “The New Interpreter’s Bible”), this involves our assessment of two indistinguishable but inseparable matters: how well does our life relate to God in Christ and how does our love for others connect us with the Body of Christ, the Church? I know that’s deep, but bear with me.

In some ways, it’s quite simple: what do we think that God sees when God looks at us completely? That kind of searching self-assessment should lead us to acknowledge where we have made mistakes and where we have done well. As Jesus says in Matthew’s Gospel, have we been salt, not only keeping good things from spoiling but also preserving the best in life. Like salt do we bring zest and joy to life? Have we been a light to those around us, sharing with them wisdom and encouragement, even gentle correction when it’s called for? And, just as important, have we been open to receiving the salt and light from others so that we can do a better job of preserving the goodness and joy in life as well as being humble enough to accept not only the wisdom and encouragement but also the guidance and correction which our Christian family will share with us?

If you’re a loner like Narcissus you will never look into that mirror of truth and see what God and other people see. But if you and I have the courage to look and see what God and other people see in our lives, we will learn that we are not as good, nor as bad, as we may have believed. We are a loved and forgiven people. God in Christ welcomes us and all our Christian family as we walk together toward the Lord’s Table. And as we receive this Bread and Cup we will know that we are never alone. God in Christ is with us in this sacrament. And as we go from this place we will know that God and our sisters and brothers walk with us. They look at us and love us. So, here’s looking at you!