January 5, 2014:

Ponderings of a Pilgrim Pastor

I experienced two wonderful reconciliations this past year.  One was with a ministerial colleague in Allenton, PA, who (I felt) was bullying me into accepting his very conservative views on religion and politics.  The other reconciliation came with my son-in-law, Barbara’s daughter’s husband, who made a difficult family matter worse by attacking Barbara’s and my integrity.

How does this happen?  My ministerial friend called to say how sorry he was for the break in our relationship.  Our friendship was more important to him than our differing opinions.  Both of us realized how much we cared for each other.

My son-in-law experienced a serious prostate surgery and subsequent infection that could have been fatal.  This has mellowed and moderated his personality and, once again, he and I had an affectionate reunion.  Speaking to him over the holidays made me realize that while we look at things from two different perspectives, (liberal and conservative) we strongly agreed that the greatest problem in our country today is the polarization that divides us into warring camps.  We need “middle-ground” people who know the art of compromise.  We both hoped that could begin to happen in 2014.

Along the way I rediscovered several things:

1.  Family and friendship are too precious to allow for rancor and hostility.

2.  I need to be more willing to take the first step in reaching out to those with whom I need to reconcile.

3.  As I approach my 76th birthday I don’t want to leave behind broken relationships that could be healed.  That would be one of life’s tragedies.

4.  I tell myself again and again:  “Do you want to be right or do you want to be helpful?”  Put it another way:  “Do you want to live in angry self-righteousness or do you want o have a loving, meaningful relationship?”

Here’s a New Year’s resolution we all can make:  In 2014 I will strive to be reconciled with someone(s) I have hurt or angered in the past or who has hurt or angered me.

Love,
Dave